11.11.09

A journal and a pen beside my bed – they have a purpose. A thought or two every now and then would wound up in one of those pages. Sometimes, they would make sense, Most of the time they are just scribbles to fill up blank spaces… Lately, they are letters for you… Words I never got to say… Mostly requests and apologies…

Last night, I dreamt of you. I think we are supposed to go to Divisoria but ended up in a “Shopping Mall on wheels” – weird huh? I was happy to see you again --- And then I woke up… I tried to recall the dream – but all I got is the “Shopping Mall on wheels”…

Back to reality – pain hit me really hard. It’s like hitting me on the head reminding me that --- yeah – You’re gone - You are. They keep telling me you’re in a better place. But you’re probably a different person now. No memories of the past. No nothing.

And so back to my theory – “Pain - It never really fades away... You just get used to it...It does not make you stronger... It only makes you insensitive...”

It’s almost Christmas Kuya… Remember every 24th – bibigyan lang tayo ng list ni tatay ng mga bibilhin – then we’re off to SM to buy items in the list? You would have that sling bag of yours where you keep your 45 just to prove a point that mall securities would not know whether you’re carrying a firearm or not… What will happen to Christmas Kuya?